Fightback: Part 3 of n

It’s easy to turn around and put a brave face on life and just say “it’s all good thanks. See you later”. It’s just as easy to turn around and say it’s not good and why it isn’t. But what’s hard and where I am right now is I seem to be fighting everything.

I’m feeling a bit down the past few days. Missing what I don’t have. But then I’m getting annoyed at myself thinking “no don’t be down you need to be optimistic”. Then I begin to think “hang on a minute it’s ok to not be ok isn’t it?”

I keep carrying on in this cycle, which to me feels like the brink of self discovery to extent I haven’t experienced before.

The truth about where I am in life is quite simple. Yes lately I lost someone that means a great deal to me but look at where I am in life?! I am not working, I see my son whenever I am able to, the world is my oyster. I could achieve whatever I dream.

All I have to do is fight the fear.

That sounds so much simpler than it is but it is the truth of the matter. The only thing that’s holding me back from any dream is myself and it always has been.

I mean obviously there’s certain things I can’t do. I can’t drive right now. I could invent a car that would let me achieve that though. I can’t fight for my ex but she knows I’m here for her. I can’t see my son as much as I’d like but he knows he’s always in my mind and my heart.

My point is there’s always things you feel you cannot achieve. A lot of time, though, it’s about your perception of the situation and sometimes you need open your eyes and mind and see the situation from a different perspective.

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